{"id":317194,"date":"2025-08-05T16:39:33","date_gmt":"2025-08-05T20:39:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/?p=317194"},"modified":"2026-04-15T15:11:14","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T19:11:14","slug":"we-dont-talk-like-we-used-to-6-conversations-to-reconnect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familylife.com\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/staying-married\/communication\/we-dont-talk-like-we-used-to-6-conversations-to-reconnect\/","title":{"rendered":"We Don\u2019t Talk Like We Used To: 6 Conversations To Reconnect"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\" fetchpriority=\"high\"><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>I remember when we used to talk about everything \u2026 <\/strong>the big dreams, the weird fears, and oddly specific childhood memories we never told anyone else.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now? Much of our conversation revolves around car coordination (since we only have one), who\u2019s doing school drop-off, quick check-ins, and a few instances of \u201cCan you put your phone down and hang out with me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It doesn\u2019t happen all at once, but over time, many couples find themselves drifting into a rhythm of <em>functional<\/em> communication. Conversations start to revolve around things that need to be done, fixed, bought, or scheduled. And while those are necessary to talk through, they\u2019re not what bonds you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Feeling disconnected in marriage doesn\u2019t always mean something\u2019s broken.<\/strong> It often just means you\u2019re both doing a lot\u2014working hard, showing up for your kids, keeping things afloat. But connection doesn\u2019t thrive on doing; it thrives on learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When was the last time you asked each other questions that didn\u2019t have a \u201cright\u201d or easy answer? When you laughed mid-conversation or got to the bottom of what\u2019s really weighing on your heart?<br><br>If it\u2019s been a while, you\u2019re not alone. <strong>The good news is that connection doesn\u2019t require a reset or grand romantic gesture.<\/strong> It starts with a <em>single intentional moment.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6 conversations every couple needs to have<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether you\u2019ve been married for six months or 16 years, these are conversations worth returning to again and again. And remember: These convos aren\u2019t about fixing your marriage, they\u2019re about deepening it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. What does love look like when it\u2019s hard?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Explore how you each experience love, not just when it\u2019s easy, but when it\u2019s tested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking:<\/strong><em> When have you felt most loved by me during a difficult time?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. What are we afraid to say out loud?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unspoken expectations, simmering frustrations, or just the ache of being misunderstood \u2026 naming it gently is the start of resolving it and building resiliency.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking: <\/strong><em>What expectations do you have of me (that you may or may not have realized you have) that I\u2019m not meeting?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-container uagb-block-e78aa598 alignfull uagb-is-root-container\"><div class=\"uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. How are we serving each other?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Reflect on how well you serve each other no matter the personal cost. Do we serve each other without expecting something in return?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking: <\/strong><em>What is one way I can serve you this week that will help you feel loved by me?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. What hurts haven\u2019t healed yet?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Forgiveness is less about forgetting and more about grace. What would it look like to move forward in grace, even in small steps?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking:<\/strong><em> Is there anything I\u2019ve done that I need to ask forgiveness for?&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. How are we doing with intimacy?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking: <\/strong><em>Where do we feel most connected right now? Most distant?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. What kind of legacy are we living?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our lives were created to be the autobiography of God\u2019s supernatural intervention. Reflect with each other on whether you believe your marriage reflects the love of Christ to others. What sets your marriage apart?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Try asking: <\/strong><em>How could we speak to each other differently to display Jesus better?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Copyright \u00a9 2025 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bethany Kuetzing is the brand marketing manager for FamilyLife\u2019s resources. Before working for FamilyLife, she worked in marketing for a counseling ministry. Bethany lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, with her husband, Peter, and son, Theodore. Bethany and Peter first met when they were 16 and have been married since 2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When most of communication becomes functional (schedules, what needs to done, fixed, etc.), connection takes a backseat. 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